With Thanksgiving upon us, it’s an important time to discuss familiar patterns that inevitably pop up at family gatherings. While what goes on inside your family might infuriate you, families are sacred territory.
Youcan say what you want about your family, but no one else has that permission. Sure, it’s common to defend the people we love, but what’s not healthy is ignoring how you’re impacted by their pain.
This is a toughie, but it’s causing too much harm to be ignored. When someone’s pain is provoked, they’re triggered. So how they respond won’t be from the love inside, instead it’s The Incredible Hulk Syndrome. Calm, cool and collected, instantly transforms into muscles bulging. Eyes glaring. Grunts. Lashing out.
Someone else’s pain is directly impacting you. Trouble is, in families it’s been that way from the beginning. So its difficult to recognize dysfunction is actually being revealed because you haven’t known something different:
- That’s just how Tommy is.
- You know how Mom gets.
- My brother/sister always…
These are common clues to long-standing unhealthy patterns that are dysfunctional.
So you prepare for the inevitable. And that right there is the hidden clue to identify yourpain is being triggered. Because of how you expect to be treated. Blindspot revealed! Now your energy is contributing to that unhealthy dynamic. And that’s power and authority in your hands to create a positive change.
How To Navigate With Love As Your Guide
Being accountable for your energy and feelings are the keys to self-empowerment and opening to receive the pure love you deserve. Not what’s been familiar.
- When The Incredible Hulk makes an appearance it’s not about you, it’s someone else’s pain being revealed. Don’t take it personal.
- Take a deep breath to maintain self-control. Then, listen behind the words – what does this person need to feel seen, heard or understood?
- Then, address that because you’re now aware of the pain that’s being provoked. (And that pain was hurting you!)
- Enjoy the opportunity to share love that’s no longer hidden by pain.
Keep these clues handy, just in case an opportunity to deepen your capacity to receive love presents itself this holiday!
Wishing you a happy holiday,
Christi & Pete