Tree of Emotions

How To Use Emotions As A Guide

When it’s time to create change in my life, how do I know it?

My emotions guide me! Despite what anyone may think, it’s not something outside myself that is my best guide when change is warranted. Instead, it’s something within me that I have direct access to… emotions.

Emotions serve as my PGS – Personal Guidance System. A built-in Truth detector within. My emotions guide me along the path, every single one serving as an essential and vital guide.

However, learning how to use emotions as a guide instead of a form of punishment takes some practice. Even more essential is learning how to accept emotions for the information they provide, without denying the Truth that feelings reveal.

If a negative emotion is denied, avoided or I try to pretend it does not exist – the wise guidance available about what change is needed will also remain hidden.


Ready For A Little Snow-Globing?

  • Hiding emotions from self, prevents Truth from being accessed.
  • Ignoring and denying emotions means that valuable nuggets of clarity are also ignored and denied.
  • Pretending to feel something disguises the true feelings which would serve as a guide toward solutions.

Feelings provide amazing clues about how to navigate forward. Emotions are a barometer indicating where change is warranted. When their role is understood negative feelings become less scary. Is it time for change?

CLUE: HOW do you feel?

Emotions + Clarity About Feelings = Change

Welcome Inside My Experience…

Anger motivates me to do something about what I feel angry about.

Sadness guides me to recognize there is a long-standing part of myself that is crying out for healing. It needs tender, loving care.

Fear tells me either:

  • I am about to embark on an amazing journey to stretch my comfort zone
  • Run for my life, get out of danger or take some kind of corrective action because I’m about to get hurt
  • Pause and reassess because there may be a better direction

Hint: It doesn’t mean hold on for dear life, like our buddy Kermit.

But the one emotion that I pay the strongest attention to every time it shows up is – the one that no one ever really wants to talk about – PAIN. When I feel emotional pain, I stop dead in my tracks, and allow it to be present. I do not pass it by, push it aside or decide to tend to my wound later.

If I cannot address it in the moment, I comfort myself as kindly, gently and lovingly and make time to address it. Just as I would not avoid the shrills of agony that a broken bone would cause – I treat my emotional pain in a similar fashion.

Underneath any pain something beautiful is waiting to be discovered. It’s just hidden and disguised.

Pain is not a cause to run and hide or to slink away into a cave for safe keeping – it’s a clue that healing is needed. Ironically, the way that healing happens is through recognition that pain is present.

Here’s a simple technique you can try out for yourself:

The 4 A’s

  1. Acknowledge that emotional pain is present
  2. Allow yourself to feel it. Not in a way that is flattening, but as an outlet so that you can get to the clarity underneath the pain. HINT: There is always some clarity underneath the pain. Either a beautiful part of self hidden for safe keeping or a part of self that has been misidentified to be something the self is not.
  3. Ask yourself a few questions: What do I need that is not being fulfilled? How can I fulfill that need for myself?
  4. Action – take action to fulfill the need for yourself. Be accountable to yourself for creating a positive change. Be the champion for yourself and provide yourself with encouragement along the way.

Until next time,

May you love the life you live and enjoy being you. The world needs you for all that you are and all that you could not ever be!