Is it possible to receive love if we are looking for pain instead?
Peanut Butter vs. Sunflower Butter
Imagine being served a peanut butter and jelly sandwich only to discover that sunflower butter was used instead of peanut butter. If you have nut allergies that might be a good thing, but if not – you would know you were duped and got something different.
With something simple like a good ole’ PB&J sandwich it’s easy to tell the difference between the real thing and a substitute, but only if you knew what peanut butter was based on previous experience.
Let’s switch gears and imagine you grew up in a household where sunflower butter sandwiches were called “peanut butter sandwiches.” You learned to believe peanut butter was something it was not. How do you think you would feel upon discovering your long held idea about peanut butter, was wrong?
Ok, we are talking about peanut butter, not a big deal in the grand scheme of life, but what happens if we change the topic to love?
Love vs. Not Love
What happens if we learned to define love based on something it is not and we don’t even know it? There was a time when I (Christi) didn’t know how intently I was associating love with disappointment. I had been holding myself hostage to the past, regretting decisions I made, and recycling pain that kept me repeating the same old patterns. The problem was I didn’t know I didn’t know it. I had a blindspot in the way.
If I had known the negative association was there or that regret was strangling me, it could have been addressed sooner, but that was “my normal.” Certainly not healthy or beneficial, but “normal” for me. Unfortunately the things we don’t know we don’t know create blindspots in our perception. In order to receive what we desire, we must become aware of any distortions in our internal definitions. Otherwise, we will be unable to recognize when it is present.
Clues To Reveal Blindspots
Today I know the clues to pay attention for when a blindspot in my perception is being revealed. Similar to driving in a car – I know how to maneuver to ensure no obstacles are hidden from view.
Clue #1: Familiar negative feelings are a clue to stop and listen
When it comes to perceptions, familiar negative feelings are always the first clue to stop and listen to our inner self. At these times, it is like being on a train track inside our minds, each thought goes to the next stop as if we are on the local train and all the stops are more of the same pattern. By pausing to listen, we can investigate to determine – what is the pattern? What is mentally connected together? Does it belong associated or not?
Clue #2: Define what something is AND what it is not.
This is our secret ingredient -The Guides taught us that one! Like when I discovered love and disappointment were associated together in my experiences and that I mentally braided the concepts together. I knew for sure something that was not love was associated with love! Defining both love and not love mentally unbraided the tangled definitions.
These clues help us catch ourselves when we revert to old patterns because we now have awareness about what to look for.
Week #3 – #Self4World Challenge:
In our experience almost everyone has some upset around love, but because it is our “normal” we aren’t even aware it’s there. This week we will be actively gaining awareness where we can strengthen our self-love muscles.
Be sure to watch this week’s video on YouTube so your “brain is on board” with what love is and what it is not.
- Awareness – Where has pain (“not love”) and love unknowingly been associated?
- Apply Self-Love – Provide love to self and untangle any unnecessary associations of pain (“not love”).
- Experience – Enjoy receiving and sharing deeper love with others as your ability to receive love deepens. Observe the world around you, can you see more love?
Post A “Selfie”
Tell us, how is the exercise impacting you? What are you learning, opening to receive, or accepting into your life? Are you experiencing a shift in people around you? Share it with us.
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