Last week I was having a conversation with someone very dear to me, who was sharing some challenges in her relationship. As we were talking, The Guides in their usual fashion interjected with some tools that were so helpful not only in her situation but for us all, I wanted to share this technique with you.
Like many of us, my dear friend is extremely intuitive and was easily able to IDENTIFY that she wanted more emotional intimacy in her relationship, but also like many of us, she did not DEFINE what that meant to her. The Guides provided her with this series of questions:
- What does it mean to you to have emotional intimacy in your relationship?
- What would it look like?
- How would you know it was present?
- What would be different in your relationship?
- How would you feel differently?
Without defining for herself what she was able to identify as the problem, she was feeling helpless to create the changes she wanted to IMPLEMENT. She was unable to ask for, explain to her partner, or even understand for herself where she needed to take action differently. The Guides in their infinite wisdom simplified a 3 step process, I called it IDI Problem Solving:
IDI Problem Solving
Identify – the problem
Define – what you actually want instead
Implement – take the action you now know is needed to create the change you wish to see or experience
This simple technique is something we can all use no matter what area of life we are desiring to create change. Where appropriate alter the language from a relationship to the subject that applies to you.
And so it is!